Blue Lake
It was time for yet another mile swim. Dave and I went out on Monday and I had a less than stellar performance. I jumped and reacted to every little thing in the lake, I was timid in the water, I was terrifed when I could see the bottom and when I couldn't.
Let me just say that nothing lives in this lake except for fishies and some moss-like seaweed. Apparently I thought there were king crabs and the screeching eels from the Princess Bride.
*sigh* I know.
However, I made it through Monday's Mile in 41:00 and did better on the second half-mile than the first, so at least it wasn't a complete waste.
So let us skip ahead to Wednesday. And the predicted thunderstorms that didn't happen (dang it), and me being freaked out, and the mental breakdown that ensued. It was not pretty. I was in tears at lunch because I didn't want to go back out into the lake, that's how scared I was. I have never been afraid of water in my life!! So Dave asked me questions and we tried to figure out what exactly I was scared of...
....water? No.
....fishies? No, not really. They swim away when you move.
....seaweed? Ewww. But, no.
....irrational monsters like king crab & screeching eels? NO. And I need to quit watching 'Deadliest Catch'.
....the distance? It's intimidating, but no.
....then what? Miserable failure.
Get over it. We're going. fine.
This is the point in the conversation where he gives me his best exasperated look and begins a coaching lecture. It's interesting how being scared of one thing, like failing, can lead you to believe that you're actually scared of another, like irrational lake-creatures.
All afternoon I tried not to think about it, but every tri blog I read seemed to be talking about being scared and trying to be fearless. I didn't feel fearless by the time we headed to the lake. One quote did stick out in my mind though:
"Fear is probably the thing that limits performance more than anything - fear of not doing well, of what people will say. You've got to acknowledge those fears, then release them."
Hmmm. You mean fear is what has been holding me back? You mean if I release that fear I will be able to have a great swim? I'm game, lets give it a try.
We got to the lake and unloaded, got warmed up and were ready to go. I was feeling a little better by then. Somewhere in the middle of my afternoon I decide that it was time to ante up. Put up or shut up. Sh!t or get off the pot. You get the idea. Swim or find another sport. Dave gave me a countdown, just like at a race, and I was off!
Almost immediately two things were apparent 1) I didn't warm up enough because I was fatigued 200m in and 2) I should lift weights AFTER my swim, not before. Oh well, keep moving. For the first 1/4 mile you can actually see the bottom - it's about 6 feet deep. R.O.U.S's covered in fuzzy moss, the leggy seaweed that looks like a crab.....and then all of a sudden nothing. Dark. Deep. Cold. .....panic......NO! I REFUSE TO PANIC. I just focused on my form, tried to think about something else and before I knew it 19 minutes later I had hit the halfway point.
Now, before I discuss the return trip, let me just say that I have never swam that slow of a 1/2 mile - Moses Lake Tri was a terrible swim and that took 17 minutes. So, Dave and I agree that our 1/2 mile estimating abilities might be a little on the long side. Oh well....I'll be that much more prepare for my half-irons next summer!
After a minute or two of rest Dave started the clock and we headed back the other way. For a couple of minutes at the very beginning I had to flip over on my back to rest my arms - it felt like they were on fire. Once I recovered, I flipped back over and away we went! This time it was head down, balls to the wall, no fear swimming.
It was fantastic.
I have never felt that good in the lake - I was holding a decent pace, breathing well, and fighting through the pain in my arms. With every stroke I kept repeating to myself, "you can do it, you can do it" At one point I even had a huge smile on my face! I was singing the Beach Boys song 'Catch a Wave' and having a wonderful time! Then with about 400m left, I noticed that my left arm was kind of tingly and I couldn't feel my fingers. Ummmm....bad? Instead of panicking I flipped onto my back and assessed the situation.
Can I wiggle my fingers? yes. but they are tingly.
Does the elbow work? yup. we're good there.
Can I rotate my shoulder, or did it dislocate (again)? shoulder rotates but is uncomfortable.
hmmm....seemed okay, so back to swimming I went, this time adjusting my stroke so that my core and hips helped pull my left arm through, thus taking some of the strain off my shoulder. It worked! I finished in 22 minutes (that includes the rest at the halfway point), and swam the whole way back!!!!! WOOHOO! GO ME!
I was kind of hoping for a negative split but with the longer rest interval and stopping to check my shoulder, that didn't happen. However, my pace was actually faster on the way back and I swam stronger than I did on the first leg, and I wasn't scared!! I'm am thrilled with this swim and if I thought my arms could handle it, I'd go out again. But then, I suppose I get rest days for a reason! :)
Whew! Long post! Now that it's done, I think I'll go watch Deadliest Catch. Bring on the crab!
Loading up to head home
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